The Soul's Pace
You may (or may not) have noticed I’ve gotten slightly off track with my posting schedule lately. The end of the school year got me good and on top of that, wedding season kicked in for the first time in years. It’s been a minute since we’ve had multiple weddings in one month but it has been so much fun to be back in the circuit for a time.
As I began to stress about missing a post one week, I noticed I was really enjoying the things that were distracting me from my writing. The anticipation, preparation and celebrations- all of it was fun. And all of it was fleeting.
I found myself considering whether or not I should officially pause Substack for the Summer. I wanted to be free of feeling pressure to write while in the midst of a spontaneous Summer schedule, but also felt guilty about the idea of failing to honor a commitment to myself and an audience. I was also torn because I know myself well enough to know that as soon as I decide I'm "not writing” my little mind will become flooded with inspiration and ideas. I couldn’t find the right answer.
Then, I happened upon a blurb from Geneen Roth where she mentioned moving at our “soul’s pace” and I felt my entire body relax into the idea.
Without knowing it, that is what I have been working so hard to embrace in my recovery work. By practicing intuitive eating and movement, I'm learning how to take a spiritual approach in all areas of my life. I’m learning to honor my own needs in order to remain present with myself and the people I love. And in doing so, I’m better able to show up as my most authentic self, in my own time.
A wise woman once pointed out to me: “you are not a linear thinker”. Truer words have never been spoken. I felt embarrassed at first- I’d spent a lifetime trying to figure out the right way to do life. So, the idea that that was beyond me solidified what I’ve always been most afraid of in myself. But then I realized her reassuring tone. She wasn’t saying there was anything wrong with that- as if there is no such thing as the right way to do life? For the first time I let myself settle into the idea without judgement.
In time, it has become the mantra I find most freeing. When I feel frustrated and tempted to label myself as “incapable”, I pause and remind myself: I’m just not a linear thinker. And, most of the time, I’m able to find a different approach that fits for me. Turns out, my non-linear life is so much more fun and shockingly more productive.
So rather than taking an all or nothing approach to my Summer Substack, I’m choosing to move at my soul’s pace.
For example, I didn’t think I would be able to get a letter out this week and I was completely fine to release it because, y’all, my best friend is getting married in two days. We are busy and buzzing with excitement. But my excitement lead to finishing my rehearsal dinner speech earlier than expected and writing that got me into the flow. So when I woke up with extra hours this morning it felt natural and good to turn to the page. I hope this is how most weeks are. But, I can’t promise I’ll remember what day of the week it is every time a Monday Meditation is due, or that I will have a story out every single week while soaking up the magic that is slow Summer days with my middle schoolers.
I feel sure you will all be just fine potentially hearing from me less, but because I value this space and community so very much, I wanted to be honest about what to expect.
As Field and I made dinner late after a walk last night, I noticed the lingering glow of dappled sunlight through the windows…my sense of time completely distorted by the subtle shift in sunset schedule. “Doesn’t Summer just feel different?” I asked…like the thick heat literally slows and stretches the days. I guess thats always been true and probably obvious, but it’s the first time in a long time I'm present enough in my body to notice it- to marvel in it.
It’s Summertime- my soul’s pace is a bit slower and a lot freer.
Perhaps your soul has noticed, too.
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Rushing out the door for wedding weekend kick off party so stream our bride!
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