No Apologies Necessary

Summer with Tweens

May 25, 2025

Did y’all miss me yesterday? Part of me hopes y’all didn’t notice I’m later than usual, the other part would be devastated to hear you didn’t notice my absence in your inbox. We’re headed to the beach with my family, so knowing I’d have a full day in the car, I decided to put this weeks content together on the drive and test out a Sunday delivery. Last time I put this poll up, I didn’t get much feedback so I’m sticking it right up top and would really appreciate yall’s feedback as I continue to fine tune this space!

Read on for some Summertime parenting perspectives…

Last week Field and I met an older couple at a charity event. We were making small talk when they asked how old our children were. “Almost 11 and 13” I responded with the ever-present air of disbelief I notice in my tone each time that question comes up. I cannot for the life of me understand how these babies who I feel sure were swaddled and sleeping in cribs 4 minutes ago are on the cusp of becoming teenagers. But it was the tone of the couple’s response that lingered after the conversation ended.

“I’m sorry!” the woman said, her husband nodding in agreement.

We knew they were making a joke and certainly weren’t offended, but when we reflected on the conversation later we realized our internal responses had been the same. If we’d been completely authentic in the conversation our replies would have sounded something like, “Why?”, “I’m not”, or, “Don’t be!”

We aren’t naïve enough to think the next few years won’t present their own set of parenting challenges, just as those newborn and toddler years did. But I’ve wondered for the past few years why these big kids, tweens and teens get such a bad wrap in comparison to their baby selves.

Of course I miss their sweet baby smells and snuggles and the overwhelming joy that came with each new milestone. But their ability to reason, carry on enlighting and intriguing conversations, self-regulate emotions and snacks and watch TV shows that involve zero singing cartoons is not a bad trade off.

If you had’ve told me the toddler boy who used to hold on to the edge of his crib and scream, jumping so hard he could shake the entire house for a solid twenty minutes every single night and the baby girl who never cried a bit so long as she was in my arms 24 hours a day would become the coolest, most easy going and independent little beings in the blink of an eye, I might not have so easily wished the hard parts of those years away.

The advantage of this perspective is that enough time has passed for me to have a pretty good body of evidence to look back on and know whatever shit is hitting the fan at the moment, will indeed pass. But so, too, will the magic that makes each different phase of childhood unique. I don’t wish my way through any of these years any more. I know too much. Rejoicing in glimpses of maturity never comes without mourning the loss of some semblance of their innocence.

I somehow avoided my typical end of the school year, cray May menty B this time, but not because I’m not sad my babies are growing up. (probably because they are grown up enough that I don’t check my emails much and I accidentally missed the majority of the sentimental programs the school puts on) But I think it also has a lot to do with the profound depth of gratitude I have over the idea of being present for another sweet Summer with them. This year my goal is to spend my days resisting the urge to dwell in missing memories of Summer’s gone by, or worrying about what it will be like down the road. I’m not afraid of the teenagers they will become- I know we are up for the challenges and in for exciting milestones we don’t even have the capacity to imagine yet. But for now, I'm just thankful to be soaking up every ounce of who they are in this fleeting window of time, unapologetically.

My friend Joanna (substack here ) requested a fun country playlist for Summer and Weez understood the assignment. She put together the perfect mix if you ask me (and cover art) and gave permission for me to share it here. It should pair perfectly with Memorial Day lake, beach or BBQ plans!